DUDE Fuckin' A.
DONNY And this guy peed on it.
WALTER Donny! Please!
DUDE Yeah, I could find this Lebowski guy--
DONNY His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude!
DUDE Yeah, this is the guy, this guy should compensate me for the fucking rug. I mean his wife goes out and owes money and they pee on my rug.
WALTER Thaaat's right Dude; they pee on your fucking Rug.
CLOSE ON A PLAQUE
We pull back from the name JEFFREY LEBOWSKI engraved in silver to reveal that the plaque, from Variety Clubs International, honors Lebowski as ACHIEVER OF THE YEAR.
Reflected in the plaque we see the Dude entering the room with a YOUNG MAN. We hear the two men talk:
YOUNG MAN And this is the study. You can see the various commendations, honorary degrees, et cetera.
DUDE Yes, uh, very impressive.
YOUNG MAN Please, feel free to inspect them.
DUDE I'm not really, uh.
YOUNG MAN Please! Please!
We are panning the walls, looking at various citations and
certificates unrelated to the ones being discussed offscreen:
YOUNG MAN That's the key to the city of Pasadena, which Mr. Lebowski was given two years ago in recognition of his various civic, uh.
YOUNG MAN That's a Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever award, which is given--not necessarily given every year! Given only when there's a worthy, somebody especially--
DUDE Hey, is this him with Nancy?
YOUNG MAN That is indeed Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes, taken when--
DUDE Lebowski on the right?
YOUNG MAN Of course, Mr. Lebowski on the right, Mrs. Reagan on the left, taken when--
DUDE He's handicapped, huh?
YOUNG MAN Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes. And this picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation, yes, yes? Not of California.
DUDE Far out.
YOUNG MAN And in fact he met privately with the President, though unfortunately there wasn't time for a photo opportunity.
DUDE Nancy's pretty good.
YOUNG MAN Wonderful woman. We were very--
DUDE Are these.
YOUNG MAN These are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak--
DUDE Different mothers, huh?
YOUNG MAN No, they--
DUDE I guess he's pretty, uh, racially pretty cool--
YOUNG MAN They're not his, heh-heh, they're not literally his children; they're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, inner-city children of promise but without the--
DUDE I see.
YOUNG MAN --without the means for higher education, so Mr. Lebowski has committed to sending all of them to college.
DUDE Jeez. Think he's got room for one more?
YOUNG MAN One--oh! Heh-heh. You never went to college?
DUDE Well, yeah I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various, um, administration buildings--
YOUNG MAN Heh-heh--
DUDE --smoking thai-stick, breaking into the ROTC--
YOUNG MAN Yes, heh--
DUDE --and bowling. I'll tell you the truth, Brandt, I don't remember most of it.--Jeez! Fuck me!